Killing me softly
by thaismds
Summary: They are true friends, but sometimes a friendship can become something better... ONESHOT.


_**Killing me softly**_** – Edward and Bella. All human. Rated M for language and lemons.**

**Bella's POV**

The clock alarm went off and I jumped in my bed. I walked to the window to check what I would have to use today. The day was foggy outside. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, took a shower and fixed my hair. I got my backpack and went out. I bumped into Edward on the way, as always.

Edward was my best friend since I can remember, we went to school together every year and now we were at the same college. He lived a few hours from school so he often slept at my place. Nothing ever happened, I always saw Edward as a brother.

- Morning Bella! – he said with a husky voice and smiled. His eyes were a little swollen.

- Morning sleeping beauty! – I joked and smiled back.

- Man… you have no idea! I couldn't study a thing yesterday. – he said throwing his hands in the air.

- I can see that! But don't worry, we can study today. – I confirmed.

We had plans for today, after school. Like I said, we would study our asses off!

- Oh, right! So, all set for tonight? – he asked in a weird tone, like he remembered something important.

- All set!

We continued our way to college, talking about trivial things. We got there at the same time as every day and we went to class. The boys and girls on our classes were our mutual friends, but only Edward and I were best friends.

- Did you guys studied yesterday? – Angela asked.

- Yeah… a little. – I said.

- Not at all. – Edward answered upset, closing his eyes and letting his head fall on his folded arms over his chair. He stayed like that for the rest of the class.

- Come on Ed! We've got to go home! Wake up! – I said in a low voice and shook his arm.

- Hun? Oh, right… - he stammered and got up really slowly, fixing his shirt.

I rolled my eyes and pushed him by his arm. Edward was always the sleeping beauty in our friendship. He, most of the times, overslept so I had to call him every morning and wake him up. We walked past our friends and I waved at them saying goodbye. Edward mumbled something unintelligible. They waved back and we turned our backs, walking all the way home.

- God… I need something… A Red Bull maybe. I need to be able to, at least, open my fucking eyes. – he muttered.

- Ok, how about a nice cup of coffee? I'll make it myself. – I offered.

- Really? Would you? – he pleaded with his doggie eyes.

I laughed and nodded. We entered my house and got to the kitchen.

It was always easy with him, I felt like I could be _me_ all the time.

- Have a sit. I'll bring your coffee, sir. – I said imitating a waitress.

He giggled and bowed. I grabbed the strainer and the coffee powder. I turned on the coffee pot and it was ready in 3 minutes. I grabbed two mugs, the huge ones that I never used, and served us.

- Here – I said handing him his mug – let's stay awake the whole night!

He grabbed it and smiled, raising the mug over his head – Cheers!

- Cheers! – I answered copying his movement.

- To the first night on zombie land!

We both laughed hysterically and drank our coffee.

Our energy got back in a few minutes due to the caffeine. We gathered our notes and books and went upstairs to my room. I had a mattress under my bed that was for his use only. We set up everything. I was sitting on my bed and he was on the mattress on the floor.

- Let's do this. – he stated. And we began to study.

A few hours passed and it was around 21h when I decided to take a shower, put on my PJ's and make us some dinner. I was wearing a tank top and a micro shorts.

We went to the kitchen again and I baked frozen lasagna. We ate it and washed the dishes together.

- That was pretty good. – he said simply.

- Yeah, it took me hours to bake that lasagna! – I played.

He grinned and completed – I think we would get along really easy if we lived together. I mean, we could be a married couple!

I blushed to his comment and he realized what he said too late.

- I'm… I meant that we are really great friends… And that we could live in the same place… That we would do… - he stuttered and blushed even deeper than me.

- Yeah, I mean… I got it! We get along really well… - I tried to help him.

The awkwardness filled the room. We went upstairs again, eyes on the floor. I cleared my throat and said:

- So, could you give me your notes from Mrs. Jennings' class? I think I lost mine.

He nodded never raising his eyes from the book he was holding.

We didn't spoke again. A few more hours passed and we were very sleepy, so I told him to go change and take a shower so we could sleep.

- I forgot to bring my PJ's… I'll have to stay in boxers. – he said with an odd look in his face.

Things were lighter now, but still a bit awkward.

- Oh, that's ok. It's really hot tonight. Do you mind if I open the window? – I answered trying to disguise my embarrassment.

- Nope.

He went to the bathroom and a few minutes later the smell of his shampoo filled the air. It was mint and musk mixed together. He got off of there wearing his white boxers. I was used to see Edward in his underwear, but now, given the circumstances, I felt a little embarrassed.

- So… Do you want to sleep now? We could study some more, if you want. I guess the caffeine was too much, I don't feel sleepy at all. – I lied. I had to say something. Anything.

- Yeah… I guess… - he answered. He opened his mouth like he would say something else, but he didn't. Then he looked at me all red and asked:

- Did you ever…? You know… did you ever did… **it**?

My thoughts were a compete blank.

- What do you mean? – I asked.

- You know what I mean. – he raised one eyebrow and smirked.

I blushed deep when I realized he was asking about sex.

- Yeah… one time… you?

- Yep.

The awkwardness was back, but with a hint of humor now. He sat on my bed next to me and we started to talk about it.

- So, was it good? – he asked without any sign of shyness.

- Not really… - I admitted, looking away.

- Tell me about it! – he insisted.

- Ok… - I said, giving up – it was with a jack ass on junior high.

- Which one, did I knew him?

- Yeah… Mike Newton.

- What? That jerk? I can't believe it! – he shouted emphatically.

- Ok, enough about me – I tried to ditch away – who was _your_ first?

He seemed to forget about Mike when I made the question. He looked down to the futon and traced patterns with his fingers.

- You'll hate me for this but… It was on junior high too, with Tanya.

I hated her. I hated that stupid Tanya that was always crawling to Edward. Worse, he knew I hated her and I had made him promise me he would never date her.

- I know… you don't have to give me that look. It just happened! I was drunk and she came on to me, so I slept with her, nothing more. – he apologized after staring at my angry face.

- Forget about it, ok? – I softened my face.

- So, what are you preferences? – he joked.

- On what?

- Uhm… do you like to be on top?

I choked. He was too deliberative.

- Actually, no. I like men to be on top.

- Well, I do. I like to be on top. I think it's more… _pleasurable_ to have control during the sex.

I blushed at the word. He seemed to have no problem on talking about it, so he continued.

- Do you prefer it raw or gentler?

- I-I don't know… I guess both. I mean, it depends on the situation. You can't start it raw, you have to go slower at the beginning and then increase it.

- Same for me.

I was enjoying our little talk, although I didn't know much about that matter, I think that it made us more… intimate.

- What is the one place you would want to do it, other than a Motel?

- I did it in a motel and I can tell you, my friend, there's nothing special about it. I think I would really like to do it in my own bed.

He seemed to absorb every information I was giving him, like it was quiz. Weird.

- Well, I think I would like to do it on the floor, maybe. – he wondered.

- On the floor? Argh! That must hurt! – I laughed.

He smiled widely and agreed with me.

- Sorry… I guess for _you_ it would hurt, I definitely like to be on top.

We laughed together and everything seemed natural, like always. I felt relieved.

- I like to be like this with you. – I signed.

He didn't say anything, but he touched my face with the back of his hand. That was an awkward gesture. His hand left a fire trace on my cheeks.

He leaned closer to me and I got lost in his eyes. They seemed to be melting… I got this strange feeling in my stomach. I was confused, because it appeared as if he was trying to kiss me. I let go of that thought

- So… I just wanted to thank you for being my friend! – I said leaning away.

He widened his eyes and his face turned white. My blush deepened.

- You're ok? Did I said something wrong?

- No, not at all. – he dissembled again looking the other way.

I decided to not talk about it.

- Let's go to sleep, ok? Forget study, I think we're too tired. – I was tired and wanted to ask him what the problem was, but I knew he wouldn't tell me anything.

He simply nodded and I laid down turning off the light on my bed's headboard. I think he went to sleep, but I couldn't be sure. Silence came in and all I could hear was his breathing.

As tired as I was, my heart was pounding. I was truly upset. Weren't we best friends? What was he not telling me?

I couldn't know how much time had passed, but I would guess it was like half an hour. I had changed positions only two times since I turned off the lights. Edward changed three. It seemed to me he was already sleeping, but I wouldn't check. The weirdest thoughts were running through my mind. I fell asleep without noticing and the images in my head were so vivid that for a second I thought I was still awake. Edward was naked in front of me and he was asking me to look at him, I was totally embarrassed and tried to look away, but something inside of me made me look. The vision was blurry. He walked to me and told me he was waiting for this for a long time and we started to kiss. It was the strangest feeling. It was like I was watching the scene and not really kissing him. I blinked and realized I had woken up.

I breathed harshly to even my breath. I heard Edward's breathing had become uneven like mine. Was he dreaming too? I raised my head just a little to look at him. What I saw made me fall with my head back to the pillow. Did I see it right? It was very dark, so maybe I was seeing things… because of my stupid dream. I raised my head again more carefully this time, so he wouldn't notice me and confirmed my vision.

- Bella… - he whispered and I froze. Did he see me? – Oh Bella… I… I want to fuck you so bad…

I blinked twice in disbelief. Edward was masturbating thinking of ME? What the hell? When did this happen? That's why he was all weird and stuff? What was I supposed to do now? I was wide awake and he hasn't noticed it.

My head was spinning and I don't know if my dreams had confused me or if I was actually enjoying this. I felt wet. Even if it was my dreams that caused it, it was no excuse; I had dreamed about Edward. I couldn't understand this sensation growing inside of me.

- Oh baby… yeah… move your hips like that… - he fantasized.

I was getting wetter. Was this even possible? He moaned in a low voice and fastened his strokes. My hand snaked to my panties, over the fabric, massaging my clit. What was I doing now? Was I going to masturbate with him? Fuck. This was so hot. He let out a loud moan and it seemed like he was finished. When he was quiet again I noticed that my breaths were a little louder, so I stopped what I was doing and pretended to sleep.

He got up and went to the bathroom. I took that opportunity to take off my damp panties and stay only with my micro shorts.

- So… Did you sleep? – He surprised me when I was on my way back to my bed.

- Yeah. Did you? – I squeaked in chock.

- Yep! Like a rock. – he lied.

I couldn't help but notice his eyes on me. I looked down to him and he seemed to be conflicted again, like he was deciding on something.

-Bell… I… I had a nightmare… Could you stay here with me just a little? – Mother fucking liar!

My mouth fell open. When we were kids he was the whining boy that was afraid of everything and I always protected him. Now he was a grown man and he was asking me _this_? I knew why, of course, but still… I nodded unconsciously and stood up again, passing through his legs and sitting next to him on the mattress. Again his eyes followed me. He took my hand in his and brushed his thumb on the back of it. His eyes locked mine. My heart raced in my chest. I swallowed.

- I'm sorry about this. It's just until I fall asleep again, then you can go back to your bed. – he apologized and smiled.

I watched the movement his lips made while he spoke and something inside of me twitched. I licked my lips unwittingly. I was too afraid of doing something I would regret, so I laid on my side and told him:

- Let's sleep, sweetie.

- Thank you, baby. – he agreed and did the same.

We always called each other by nicknames, but he had never called me _baby_. We were spooning. His body was so warm next to mine. Oh God, what was happening to me? Was I falling for him? Or maybe I had already fell, just didn't know that yet. And what about him? Why was he behaving like that?

Suddenly I felt his hand stroking my arm. It sent shivers down my spine.

- Thank you for being my friend. Always. – he whispered kindly echoing my words previously on this evening.

I didn't answer. I was too aware of his body next to mine, of his breath on my neck, of his hands on me. He brushed his fingers all the way down my arm to my hand. I didn't move. I was terrified. Edward's breath became uneven and so did mine. He placed one hand on my thigh. I shuddered. Then he squeezed it slightly.

All the blood in my body ran to the place between my legs. What was that? I could hear our hearts beating so fast. He took a lock of my hair and tucked it behind my ear.

- I hope you feel the same way about me. – he muttered and kissed my ear. I knew he wasn't talking about our friendship anymore.

A low moan escaped my mouth and I wanted to bury my face on the pillow. I felt like I could die right now when I felt his erection pressed against my ass. That was too much.

- I-I need to go to the bathroom… - I said and stood up terrified.

He didn't answer; instead he stood up too leaning towards me. I took a few steps back and he followed. I took one more and hit my back at the wall behind me; he took two and stood inches from my face.

- You're not going anywhere. – he stated with a smirk.

I looked to my right thinking of a possible way to run, he raised his hand, placing it at the wall, preventing me from escaping. I looked to my left and he blocked my way out the same way. I was trapped.

- Edward, please… - I begged, not knowing if I was asking for him to leave me alone or for take me right there.

His eyes watched me carefully as he brushed his forefinger on my bottom lip.

I never noticed any reactions in my body to his touch, or his eyes, or any part of him. I always saw him as a big brother, or a cousin maybe. Our hands were always touching each other, playing with our hairs and stuff. When did everything change?

He leaned closer to my neck and breathed in, inhaling my scent. I shivered. He brushed his lips on the hollow in my throat, his warm breath tinkling my skin. I closed my eyes wanting to feel his touch in every part of my body. He raised his head a little and bit my earlobe gently.

- I know you were watching me tonight. – he whispered on my ear.

I held in my breath, absorbing what he had just said.

- I wanted you to know that… - he looked down and stroked his erection - I think of you. I always have.

My face turned red and my head was spinning, looking back at the time we spent together, trying to find any signal he might have given me and I missed. Although I was embarrassed I couldn't help but gob at the sight of him stroking that huge cock pointing in my direction.

- Do you like what you see? – he noticed.

I couldn't help but nod. Then he placed both hands on the waistband of his boxers and stripped it down. I coughed loudly. He smiled and cupped my face, raising it to level with his eyes.

He kissed my lips with a killing softness. What none of us was counting on was my reaction. Without my command my hands flew to his hair, pulling it harshly; my mouth opened and my tongue asked for entrance to his lips that, once parted, were invaded and our tongues danced together; I bit his bottom lip, sucking it into my mouth. He gasped. My whole body was responding to him in ways I never knew I would. His eyes were melted into green hot fudge. He was trembling a little when he opened his mouth to speak.

- Touch me. – he ordered.

I obeyed earnestly running my hand through all of his length. He howled, shutting his eyes. His hands were now holding my waist, pushing me against his body. He planted kisses all over my neck, going down to my chest and finally my left breast. His tongue strolled around my nipple. I moaned loudly and grabbed his hair again with my free hand burying his face between my boobs. He kissed and licked and bit.

I wanted to slow down our pace, compensate for my previous insanity, so I ran my hands through his back, caressing his creamy skin. He did the same. We stayed like that for a few seconds, just running our hands through each other's body, appreciating the sensation. I moved my head to stare at him. He was so beautiful. I never actually looked at him as I was doing right now. My whole body was vibrating in need. I have always wanted him like this, I just didn't know.

Before I could think, he kissed me again, now crushing my lips against his. My body responded as always, I clung and curled up onto him. He moved away, taking me by my arms and lying me on my bed. He looked at me for a while and whispered:

- You're so beautiful.

- I was thinking the same thing about you – I smiled.

He kissed me one more time before lying next to me. I ran my hand through his hard chest, tracing its lines, going down to his abs, until I reached the part I wanted the most. His cock was still throbbing and he flinched and closed his eyes when I touched it. I did what I was craving to do, I leaned in and licked the tip. His eyes opened suddenly with surprise. He looked down at me.

- I wanted to know how you taste… right… here – I said it slowly, lowering my head and gobbling him up at once.

He let out a loud groan and clung his fingers to my hair. I started to move fast as he pulled my head towards his cock. He tasted delicious. I grabbed his balls with my right hand and stroked his cock with my right one along with my mouth. He appeared to be close to the edge, so I stopped. He lifted his head to look at me again, in frustration. I smiled.

- I don't want to end it right now. – I said with a smirk.

He agreed and changed places with me, positioning his body on top of mine. He kissed my chest, my boobs and my belly until he was giving me the same pleasure I had just given him. I spread my legs, letting him fill me up with his tongue. It felt so damn good. His tongue was warm and smooth, better than I could have imagined. He stopped when I was about the edge too. I guess he was following my line of thougths.

- That was… awesome! – I stated.

- Am I better than that moron?

- Actually, he never spent any time on foreplay… so…yeah.

He giggled and kissed the inside of my thighs making me shiver.

Suddenly he lifted his head with an expression I knew well. He chewed on his bottom lip and kissed my lips, crushing his face on mine. The heat increased tremendously and my body lit up as if I was on fire. How could this man do this kind of things to me? Why did I never try it before?

His hands traveled to my hottest spot and he massaged my clit eagerly. I narrowed my eyes and threw my head back on the pillow. When I was dripping he found his way into my cunt, sliding in two fingers at once. I gasped and he moved his mouth to my right nipple, licking and nibbling it. I was going crazy. I felt my release so close, but I held it.

- I don't want you to cum baby, not yet. – he whispered between breaths.

I couldn't answer him, so I grabbed his wrist and pulled out his fingers. He understood and didn't complained. He shifted position and stood between my legs.

- I know you like men on top, – he played – but I want to try something.

I looked at him in confusion and he grabbed me by my waits, lifting me up of my bed. I sat up and he turned my back to him.

- Bend over, honey. – he whispered again, making my heart pound loudly.

Oh my god, he was asking me to stay on four? That was fucking HOT! But I never did this, I was paralyzed with embarrassment.

He pushed me gently and my ass was pointing in the direction of his face. God, this was awkward. I was horny as hell, so I just ignored the explicit position that gave him a full view of my behind.

- God, you look so beautiful like this. Your ass is perfect! – he admired.

I blushed deep, but he couldn't see it, of course. Deep inside I was glad he found me beautiful.

His hands ran through both sides of my butt, caressing it, his thumb pressed my entrance and pushed aside one of my lips. Luckily I shaved everything the night before. Suddenly I felt his tongue on the edges of my wet pussy. I was trembling already. He licked it slightly and stood up, kneeing on the bed. I was anxious, knowing what would come next. I felt the head of his hard cock pressed against my entrance. My whole body throbbed. He entered me ever so slowly and I was savoring every bit of him.

- You… you're even better than I fantasized… - he admitted breathless.

I couldn't say a word, my mind was only focused on the feeling of his length inside of me, brushing my walls, going all the way in. When he was completely inside I gasped in pleasure and he moaned at the sound of my gasp. Both of his hands were now cupping my boobs. I felt _dirty_. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Edward began to move, fastening his pace as I moaned louder. His moans became groans and he let go of my right breast to pull my hair back. I howled. This was perfect! How could this man do this kind of things to me? Why did my body respond to him this way?

I thrust against him, feeling my mind haze with ecstasy. We were different people like this. It was like we were animals, brutal, hungry for each other. Our frenzy only increased while he clung to my waist, pulling me harder and harder.

We had no longer words or phrases, we had hoots and howls and groans. Our bodies were dancing intertwined and it felt like we were in a bubble, like there was no one else in the world, just the two of us.

Edward made me feel like a complete different woman, like I was made to do this, to be with him in every possible way.

We moved recklessly now. I knew I would probably be injured in some way, but this was so fucking good! He pulled my hair, squeezed my boob, pulled my shoulders, clung to my waist, slap me in the ass. I couldn't do much in the position I was, but I made sure he was noticing the amount of pleasure he was inflicting on me.

Edward and I came together in a clumsy way, because our bodies couldn't handle the spasms. Our movements decreased in intensity until I was lying in my stomach and he was on top of me. We were breathless and in a deplorable state. I couldn't help but laugh at all this. He laughed with me and we shifted positions, lying next to each other, hand in hand. For a few minutes we did nothing but breath and smile, like two idiots.

- I have to admit I'm a little confused. – I declared, trying to understand what had just happened.

- What do you mean? – he asked in confusion brushing his fingers on my arm.

- I mean, what _are_ we doing? Why you never told me you had… _feelings_ for me? – I choked on the word.

Was that it? Did he have feelings for me? Was he in love with me? Was I in love too?

- I didn't. I just realized I liked you when that stupid Mike Newton asked you out and you told me you were considering going on a date with that jerk! – he looked down to my face to watch my reaction.

- It's been like… two years?

- Yeah… sort of. I told myself that I wasn't jealous, that I was only concerned about you, but that wasn't true. I wanted you to be mine, not his. That's why I slept with Tanya… the night of your date, I went to the bar and I got drunk, she showed up and I thought I was getting my revenge by sleeping with her, but it was just… horrible. I wanted to know what it felt like kissing **you**, the taste of **your** tongue, the smoothness of **your** skin… how… _tight_ you would be. – he admitted blushing.

I coughed and smiled.

- Oh… Well… That's… I have no words for that.

He stopped and looked away.

- What about you? – he asked pulling me out of my line of thoughts.

- What about me?

- Do you…_ like_ me? – he said it so low that if I wasn't paying attention I'd probably never hear it.

- I do. – I answered more to myself than to him.

He smiled widely and kissed me on the lips.

I thought about that for a minute. I guess I've always liked him, I just confused my feelings. I wasn't paying much attention to my own emotions.

- I think… - I started – I think I've always had, actually.

He looked at me in amazement and blinked twice.

- What? You mean… like… always? How come you never told me either?

- I didn't know that. Now, remembering everything about us, I was never looking for any symptoms of… love. I guess that's why I never found any.

He seemed to deliberate something and finally said:

- I'm… I'm in love with you Bella. I'm ready for a commitment, I think we're perfect together and I know that I won't find anyone as good as you are for me. Please, be with me.

I opened my mouth in disbelief and I felt something warm run through my face. I was crying. Those were the most beautiful words I ever heard.

- I'm in love with you too, sweetie. We'll be together now.

He kissed me ever so passionately and we started all over again.

**Well, I hope you guys enjoy this new fic! I'm new at this, so if you have some advice, give to me! Lol thank you so much for reading it!**


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